The energy and stamina are no more with me, but the spirit and zealousness are still here, intact, at least for most of the times.
The stress of work is mounting each day, more so with two of my assistants missing. Pahang is just too big a state to be runned by a Director and a very junior Veterinary officer.
It is just outright outrages and unfair for much smaller states to have 3 or 4 Veterinary Officers
I don't know how much longer I could keep my cool, doing whatever best to keep the department running.
Newer things keep on coming and all these, the incentives, the buku hijau, satelite feedlot farms, KPI and other what-nots have deadlines. And deadlines have to be met, one way or another.
Sometimes the feeling of boredom, helplessness and being uncared-for creep in. Why? Because nobody upstairs seem to give a damn what acute staff shortage could do to the well-being of a department. Because nobody too seem to care that we are confirmed on time. All they care is that they get their JUSA on time!
But when schedules are slightly missed, you are straight away labelled as being slow, incompetent and other negatives.
At 54, I can no longer run here and there, doing whatever I used to do when I was in my thirties!
I guess I have to have a relook at my retirement option. Unless something is done fast about the staff shortage, I may just go at 56 or slightly later, just to have that 360 months of service.
I think I have enough of this temporary worldly and never-ending chase. It is time to make preparation for the other more-permanent and sure world.
A friend just told me that he has posted his early retirement letter. He has enough.
Dok rok doh. Puah cemuh doh keje...nok releks lah pulok...