Wednesday, November 4, 2009


For the past two days I have been listening and involved in the discussion over the matter over lite FM radio.

When someone did something bad to you, can you or will you forgive that someone? And can you forget that incident?

I'm no psychologist, but to forgive is surely a lot easier than to forget!

But, there's a big but here, even to forgive is a hard thing to do. It may takes a very long time for those forgiving types.

It may be impossible for those with vengeance in mind, the hard-to-forgive ones.

It depends a lot on the nature of the bad things done to you or rather us.

What about women and men? Who are better forgivers and forgetters?

This is another hot topic for discussion.

As Muslims, we are asked to forgive everybody every night just before we go to sleep. Forgive without being asked is a noble thing to do. Forgive your spouse, your children, your relatives, your neighbours and your friends and even your enemies, competitors, etc.

To forget an act/acts inflicted upon you, well it is easier said than done.
I often heard people saying, "I'll forgive him/her but I won't forget the thing/s that he/she done to me!"

Not forgetting is pardonable if it is not followed with the feeling of vengeance, wanting to give back what has been done to us.

But in most instances, people will not forget just because they are waiting for the right time to pay back - a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye!

There is a saying commonly said by us Malays, "Sedangkan nabi ampunkan ummat (Even the Prophet forgives his followers)...but some will add," But we're no prophet, but just ordinary human beings with feelings."

A story worth following: An old Jewish lady was very fond of throwing rubbish on the path normally taken by our Prophet (pbuh). One day the Prophet was surprised when he did not see that old lady doing the thing that she had been doing. He then asked the people of her whereabout. They told him that the lady was sick. He then, surprising many, paid her a visit at her house. The old lady was so taken by the Prophet's kind act despite of her doing bad things to him, embraced Islam soon after.

Remember Hindun, the lady who speared Hamzah and later removed his heart, the Prophet's uncle ? She was very worried about her fate when Mecca was captured by the Prophet. The Prophet forgave everybody, even Hindun!

Once, the villagers threw stones and dung to the Proophet when he was trying to preach the villagers. The prophet was bleeding as he walked away from the village. An angel came and asked his permission to destroy the villagers for what they had done. The Prophet said no and let the people be.

That's how easy for our Prophet to forgive people. What about us then?


Martin Lee said...

That is the familiar Lite FM topic that we at this age find it easier to associate with, especially the kind of music and songs that they play. I always stay tuned to 104.7 in Terengganu or 105.7 in KL. We have to always emulate the prophets what they do so that we could be more like them. They are our role models. Since they are Saints, there is no way for us to equal ourselves with them to the level of their standards. Emulation is a process that we as ordinary human beings must strive hard to learn and go through! To forgive and forget is a journey towards this destination of becoming more like the prophets. Abrahamic faiths teach us all that!

RoyalTLady said...

After listening to Islamic preachers and motivators, YES I have started to forgive people. But sometimes their bad deeds keep surfacing while pouring tea, seeping tea, coffee or even just plain warm water. No feelings towards vengeance at all and the more I forgive them the more at peace and calm I become.

I have gone through living in the world of "evil-hearted-sick people" ...let them be. I feel sorry towards them for being so.

Alhamdulillah syukur I was never given an evil heart, nor spiteful towards others and most of all never have the time to think of becoming evil.