For the past two days I have been listening and involved in the discussion over the matter over lite FM radio.
When someone did something bad to you, can you or will you forgive that someone? And can you forget that incident?
I'm no psychologist, but to forgive is surely a lot easier than to forget!
But, there's a big but here, even to forgive is a hard thing to do. It may takes a very long time for those forgiving types.
It may be impossible for those with vengeance in mind, the hard-to-forgive ones.
It depends a lot on the nature of the bad things done to you or rather us.
What about women and men? Who are better forgivers and forgetters?
This is another hot topic for discussion.
As Muslims, we are asked to forgive everybody every night just before we go to sleep. Forgive without being asked is a noble thing to do. Forgive your spouse, your children, your relatives, your neighbours and your friends and even your enemies, competitors, etc.
To forget an act/acts inflicted upon you, well it is easier said than done.
I often heard people saying, "I'll forgive him/her but I won't forget the thing/s that he/she done to me!"
Not forgetting is pardonable if it is not followed with the feeling of vengeance, wanting to give back what has been done to us.
But in most instances, people will not forget just because they are waiting for the right time to pay back - a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye!
There is a saying commonly said by us Malays, "Sedangkan nabi ampunkan ummat (Even the Prophet forgives his followers)...but some will add," But we're no prophet, but just ordinary human beings with feelings."
A story worth following: An old Jewish lady was very fond of throwing rubbish on the path normally taken by our Prophet (pbuh). One day the Prophet was surprised when he did not see that old lady doing the thing that she had been doing. He then asked the people of her whereabout. They told him that the lady was sick. He then, surprising many, paid her a visit at her house. The old lady was so taken by the Prophet's kind act despite of her doing bad things to him, embraced Islam soon after.
Remember Hindun, the lady who speared Hamzah and later removed his heart, the Prophet's uncle ? She was very worried about her fate when Mecca was captured by the Prophet. The Prophet forgave everybody, even Hindun!
Once, the villagers threw stones and dung to the Proophet when he was trying to preach the villagers. The prophet was bleeding as he walked away from the village. An angel came and asked his permission to destroy the villagers for what they had done. The Prophet said no and let the people be.
That's how easy for our Prophet to forgive people. What about us then?